Nearly Midnight News:

“So – let’s see…” Koehki says, “folo! <3” “Oh no! She’s here! Get her!” Tajar says, “*Throws the pen with the neckstring at Folodu*” Koehki says, “*hides*” “*blinks and takes the neckpen* Oh…Darn – that’s right. That’s me again…” Tajar says, “Now you can’t lose it so easily” “I had one! I swear I did! […]


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Veset says, “*pokes randomly in the dark*”   “Ow! That’s my left leg bone, which is connected to my hip bone!”   Veset says, “*pokes randomly in the dark a second time*”   “No! That’s my news! Don’t…those were my list of future winners…I was going to not cheat with those…”   Alexson says, “Did […]


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“I…am not a woman dressed like a bat. But I do have some news! In fact, it is Nearly Midnight News! I wish I had some winners to announce, but alas, the list I had got eaten in the feyiron chef cookoff. If anyone had anything papery in their food, please return it at your […]


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“Welcome to the Nearly Midnight News! I was your host, but now I’m an intern! Good night! *walks off to the casino* *walks back* I didn’t have any money… So…I suppose news. Maybe it will cover our addiction.”   “In tonight’s news, we have a shocking expose!”   Shizouka says, “I was young, those pictures […]


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“I think…It might be time for the Nearly Cheesenight News.” Alexandria says, “In overalls again?” “Overalls are banned by our underwriter.” Alexandria says, “Okay, I wear them then” “*hands over the overalls* And remember, only overalls. Welcome again to the Nearly Midnight News! We have some not-so-random crazy lady dressing up in overalls, and later […]


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“So – our budget got cut, and we are down to a candle and no match. I think the NMN staff might be next on the chopping block…”   Karmac says, “*gives Folodu more supplies* “here you go Folodu!”   “A can of spam and anchovies… Lovely…tonight’s sponsor hates us. But the show must go […]


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“*pokes about* Will anyone notice if I…” Obatala says, “Strip and dance?” Drakkarious says, “I’ve alerted the Qeynos Guards.” Obatala says, “You heard her folks! Tickets on sale now!” Obatala says, “Hurry before the guards arrive!” “Greetings and welcome to the Nearly Midnight News. Due to a lost wager, tonight we will be broadcasting in […]


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“Look! Up there! It’s a bird! It’s a gnome! It’s breaking news! Because it is certainly coming -here- at very high velocity!” “Welcome to the Nearly…nearly…umm…Thingy!” “Near thingy!” Arquenniel says, “Nearly Midnight News!!!!!!!!” “Whassat? “Never heard of it before in my life.”   “On tonight’s edition of Nearly Midnight News, we go ALL over! Except […]


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“*clears throat* *stage whisper* Is it on? Are we recording?”   Amriel says “/whispers ‘You have been on since you came out of the bathroom, now wash your hands!”   “Well, we would…but… This evening’s Nearly Midnight News is brought to you from a special location! We are guests until further notice of the Knights! […]


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“News update! On Tonight’s Nearly Midnight News! Gnomish Inventions – great ideas, or deathtraps to kill us all?” “An exhaustive and thorough opinion of paranoia!” “Also, Bacon: Myth or Reality. More happening…tomorrow!” “Alright alright, how about now…” “*looks around for musterded Knights*” “Whew!” Goldenn says “*wonders if they have to catsup?*” Arquenniel says “/gives orders […]


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